Real Modern Man

Sure, there are guys that get better results
and who seem to be surrounded by friends of
both sexes. And then there are the guys on
losers row. It is my belief that most of this
is largely INTERNAL. Now, before you jump all
over me I am NOT discounting the value of
tactics or routines! Let’s back up a bit
here.

Let's imagine a typical scenario. Two guys
with a similar background have just spent two
hours reading the tactics/techniques board,
have a shit, shower and shave, and head out
to the club together. They ride together in
the car, listen to the same music and enjoy
each others’ company.

One guy has a great night, the other guy
doesn’t. Coincidentally, the former guy also
has had better results: he got three phone
numbers, got high-fived by his buddies,
hugged by some female friends, was loving the
music, and felt like he made a lot of
progress in his game given his goals for the
night.

rAFC #2, in spite of having the exact same
set of circumstances to begin with, had a bit
of a different experience. Some guys were
trash talking him when he was chatting up
some girls. The bartender gave him the wrong
drink. He really didn’t like the music very
much. He talked to one girl who reluctantly
gave him her number, but afterwards he felt
like shit because she wasn’t really very
attractive to him in the first place.

Can you spot the difference here?

As humans – unlike plants or animals – we
have the ability to assign meaning to our
experiences. We have the freedom to put
whatever interpretation we like on events.

Now, I am not suggesting you walk around in a
drunken stupor and miscalibrated, oblivious
to the world around you and your effect upon
it. What I am saying is that you can decide
specifically how you interpret external
events. Consider two possible interpretations
of the guys trash talking our rAFC buddy #2.
Both are equally valid. I can tell you from
direct personal experience that I had
virtually identical circumstances and both my
interpretation and the outcome I got was
vastly different depending on where I was in
my game. Remember, you’re chatting up the
girls and guys are in your periphery talking
some smack:

#1: Maybe these guys are friends of the
girls. Maybe one of them is fucking one of
them. Maybe they are gonna get their friends
over here and beat on me. Maybe I said
something miscalibrated and don’t realize it.
This is bad, I had better be careful.

Result #1: Interaction fizzles, I feel
relieved it’s over and disappointed in myself
for not being cool enough.

#2: I can barely hear them at all! When the
GUYS get a little TOO pushy and THEY get
miscalibrated, the girls and I eye code each
other and have a little chuckle. We go right
back to where we were in the conversation.
Simultaenously with me continuing my story
with the girls, I kino the GUY in a Godfather
-like way; very friendly and not provocative,
like I am his buddy. I actually have EMPATHY
at his frustration at not being able to bang
these girls or even understand the dynamics.
My empathy is REAL, because now I truly get
it, and he can feel real empathy.

Result #2. Chode(s) is now offering to buy
the lot of us a round of drinks.

BOTH scenarios actually happened to me. Yes,
it’s true that there are external things I am
doing which are more advanced and make a big
difference. However, the externals are either
much more difficult or IMPOSSIBLE before I
straighten out how I am perceiving the whole
thing INTERNALLY. I am in each case assigning
a different meaning to the same set of
circumstances, resulting in a positive loop
of good internal feelings and good external
events. Physiology, body language, dominant
eye contact are all factored in.

Once I start to interpret the world around me
in a positive way, tactics flow naturally and
much less memorization is required. We have
the power to proactively choose the meaning
of the world around us, and that has a
tremendous effect on our outcomes (aka
Pygmalion effect).

Cheers,
Joseph

The Joseph W. South Show
http://joseph.libsyn.com